Madden Doesn' Have to Be Maddening

My S.O. and I spent a wonderful Labor Day weekend together. We both marveled at the fact that despite being with each other for 3.5 days, we didn't argue. We enjoyed a laid back, fun-filled weekend.

He indulged my quirks and things I liked to do (even though I think he enjoyed them too). We went to my favorite restaurants, drank coffee and read books at Barnes and Noble, and of course did some shopping.

Sunday evening we're lounging around and he decided he wanted to play X-box. Well we had such a good day, I thought, "Why ruin it by secluding yourself in a room and playing a dumb game?" I felt myself withdrawing and getting a 'tude. But the next thing I know I said, "I wanna learn." I'm thinking, "What?!!?!? Who said that?" Minutes later, I'm sitting there, joystick in hand, trying to read the instructions at the same time. LOL....yeah I know!

Needless to say I sucked. The score was 38-0. It got to the point that I was just pressing ALL (and I do mean ALL) the buttons--at the same time!!!!!! LMBO

And surprise, surprise it wasn't that bad. My competitive nature kicked in and I actually made some decent plays. But what was more interesting was my man's reaction. He was really impressed that I even wanted to play. He's brought it up several times since then--giving me my "props."

That 1 hour of video games was one of the best moves I could have ever made. Could I have done something else during that time? Sure. Could I have copped a 'tude, which could have led to an argument? Sure. Could I have put a damper on the day by making an issue out of his video game playing? Definitely.

But my goal was to spend time with him. And it really didn't matter what we were doing per se. We talked, played, kissed and had a good time while doing what he loved. So my man got the best of both worlds, I got time with my man, and we connected on yet one more thing.

Now I'm not saying to indulge your man if he's a video game zombie and plays games 2, 3, 4, 6+ hours a day; shirking his responsibilities and such. No, that's something you have to speak on. But if your man does it occasionally and it doesn't interfere with his responsibilities at home or in the relationship, why trip? In my frame of reference, this is a mole hill that many women make into a mountain.

Have you ever thought that your man's hobby is his way of de-stressing or relaxing? His way of processing information or relieving stress before he deals with the added responsibilities of home and you? When you don't allow your man this opportunity, where can he direct his frustration, stress or even anger?

We want our man to be interested and fully supportive of our hobbies, but we often do not give them the same courtesy in return. We banish them to the basement or garage to indulge in "their little hobby or interests." I'm not saying to turn your home into a frat house, but just be considerate of what it is they like to do and what they are interested in.

My grandmother says, "You get more flies with honey than with vinegar." Just call me the Queen Bee (and NOT Li'l Kim either).

Should I turn in my feminist card by giving into the hobbies and wants of a man? Perhaps. But it made him smile, kept the peace and required little effort on my part.

Lesson learned: Madden doesn't have to be maddening.

Challenge for the week: Try to indulge in your S.O.'s hobby or interest for a day, or even an hour. You might be surprised at his, and even your, reaction.